Re: African Family

We often hear the cry today to extend our understanding of family beyond the traditional nuclear family. Last year I had an opportunity to work with refugees in Uganda. One element of conversation that regularly caused confusion was my trying to understand their family situation. Family can be a very broad and inclusive term in Africa.

Most of my Ugandan colleagues spoke English quite well and had degrees in History, Accountancy and Education.   However, I quickly learnt that we do not use the same English language when we speak of mother, brother or daughter. We are told that in some Eskimo languages there are five words for snow compared to one in English. French has two words for pride. In Ugandan languages, the words to describe family relationships are confined to mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister. There are no simple words for aunt, uncle, niece, nephew or cousin. Therefore, a niece is described as a “daughter” and a nephew a “son” and all cousins are “brothers and sisters”. My colleagues, who were familiar with the European system, spoke of “brother cousin” or “mother aunt” and even then it can be confusing. As for degrees, I can say that I met a grand nephew who described his departed grand aunt as his dear mother.

In Europe we speak of the “extended family” which is perhaps the nearest we come to the African model of family. However the “extended family” fails to capture completely the African concept.   As polygamy is common, even among Christians, half siblings are also common and are treated the same as full siblings. On top of this extended set of blood relatives is the clan to which members also owe an allegiance akin to blood family because of a shared common ancestor. 

With the narrow selection of words to define family members it is only after prying deeply that a European discovers that a brother is a second cousin or that a mother is in fact a grand aunt. While it is gratifying for a European to classify the relationships, there is a sense of guilt at having diligently extracted the information to confirm the suspicion that the brothers were just cousins. Africans show surprise when they are forced to distinguish siblings as to the womb from which they came. 

Dependency is fluid and children can be raised by aunts or uncles, or parental cousins, as much as by mothers or fathers, even by neighbours from the same clan. All these are mothers and fathers. Many country children go to town relatives to attend school or to work. Children seem to come and go within the set of blood relations and it is normal for blood relatives to care for children. The adults who care for the children are simply described as mother and father, with very little if any official adoption. 

Children are believed to be composed of two elements, the blood of the mother and the spirit of the father, the stronger component being the blood. This explains the strong link that children have with their maternal relatives, and they belong to the mother and her clan, not the father’s clan. This is especially true if the father has not paid the “bride-price” for his wife. At any time, the mother’s family can demand that she leave her husband and return home with her children. However, if the father has paid the “bride-price” the father can insist on the wife and the children remaining with him until the “bride-price” is returned to him. If the wife leaves, the children remain with him. 

In Uganda I had a new perspective on the old question: Who are my brothers and sisters? Given the African understanding of brothers, my second cousins in New Zealand and Australia, with whom I have never lived, are as much my brothers and sister as my brother and sister with whom I lived and was raised in Galway. My grandfather’s first cousin, Phil, might be described as sister or mother depending on what local tradition one follows.   My Aunts Shelia and Fran are my mothers like my own mother and I am their son!   When an African says that his cousin is a brother or that his niece is a daughter he is telling the truth, not a lie. It is we Europeans who are forcing a new sub-category on the African perception of family. As you can see it leads for a merry confusion if one is drafting a family tree but it also leads for a wonderful community of family support.  

When an African says that his cousin is a brother or that his niece is a daughter he is telling the truth, not a lie. It is we Europeans who are forcing a new sub-category on the African perception of family.

Where state social welfare is lacking, the bonds of the extended family are very important in Africa. Family provides a pension fund in old age, an insurance fund for illness, money for education, jobs on graduation and substitute parents when a child is orphaned.   Family links are always called on and honoured in so far as possible. In one sense the Family Tree is a living organism rather than a fossil or a graph on a page, which it has become in most European countries. This approach to family challenges the narrow definition used in Ireland and Europe. 

I wonder if development will lead Africa to adopt a narrow European model or will we Europeans be challenged in the years ahead to adopt a broader African model.

Yours sincerely,

Patrick Hume, S.J.

2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997